eighty.three.

it is always a little easier to wake up when you know that you have the next two days off. i wasn't too creative with dressing, but i love that the clothes i wear now have been in my wardrobe for several years. i need to slow down a bit, take my time and enjoy the ride. i am in no such hurry really, basically i just need to be on time. which i managed to be very much on time this morning, and since it was only london and i… the morning was very pleasant. i spent some time meditating on the deck, it is so lovely on the roof… feeling the breeze and listening to the birds sing. it was exactly where i wanted to be, for the moment. the day was slow and quiet, i did have one walk-in client, joe, he is a reporter for the LA Times and was talking about how he was working on a book. i like something about him, he reminded me of ed hufford. he had such kind blue eyes. this was my only appointment for the day… we passed the time by ordering really good southern style food from the attic, which was good… but very saturated with fat. i felt kinda gross but just pushed on. london taught me how to braid in weave and then he showed me his "eco feathers" which he designed during the feather fad… i was excited about these because i needed some sort of interest added to my hair. the red and black striped one reminds me of the shirt that harry wore… for all of summer 2011. and i added in three black and white striped pieces… very "cat in the hat". as we all know… i am obsessed with just a few certain things. sitting on the porch in the afternoon… london and i spent some time going through magazines and discussing fashion. this is our life… talking about clothes and shoes… lace & leather. i finally said it out loud.. "i miss austin". "well, why don't you summon him", said london. he has a point. i haven't really put much effort into it, i just wanted to leave him be. i know that both of our lives are wild and crazy, or at least really busy with being so damn creative that how on earth shall we find time. but i should listen to london… just alittle longer. patience, but mine has run dry. 

i play harry's songs in the salon, since it is really quiet and i have a bit of control of the situation, which i like. his voice gets me every time. every single time.. the newest song by the critters explains a lot… "i don't wanna be here blues" i have those a often, i wonder if london knew that was him, I'm assuming he knows all. i danced around and enjoyed myself just like i was at a show. but that is how i am, he gets me.

earlier in the morning london made a comment that made me do a bit of research, he said that he was curious about who was the alpha female in the building, and depending on who is was… would determine why all the girls are losing it "this week"… i looked up some information and i believe i may be one of them. i suppose there can me more than one, especially in the salon industry because we are not always present and it does require a certain type of model or leadership each day is different. but i qualify. all the details described me… all the exposure of testosterone makes the females ring finger just a bit longer than the index… which in turn changes our brains and makes us think more like a man. somedays, i feel like i am a man trapped in a woman's body… not that i lust after girls… i just understand both sides and relate really well to males.

there is a lot to be said about an alpha female, she has so much responsibility that i don't even know if I'm up for that challenge… but i suppose no one asked. it is just how it is going to be. that explains why i am rarely ever attracted to men, unless they are far far beyond myself and therefore inspire and push me harder. i guess… just like a wolf, i am interested in chasing him around a bit. 

i was able to get out of work at a decent hour, right before the sun set. but not soon enough.. i spent some time altering these fake bang hair pieces. i had yet to cut them and place them in my hair in such a way that it worked… but london helped me figure it out. i piled my hair up on top of my head and looked very… retro. we laughed and i biked home in them, hurriedly got ready for yoga class… and biked back to cherry and fourth. i was very excited about class this evening because i knew we would be singing.  i have been exploring the kungdahlini practice since i arrived, it is a very interesting concept of breathing exercises and streches that free your mind and open in up in a way that it slows it down. i haven't done much research on the subject, but i do enjoy the concept. it is strange how all the breathing makes your hands and feet tingle with numbness for just a few seconds.. then you are able to just relax and be still, take in the moment. i had a few really good thoughts while i was there, they made a small smile cross my face. i shouldn't care what anyone thinks about me, that is just one of my worldy defaults… like harry said in his song "i have been here since time"… and with time i will discover all that i am meant to accomplish. it is fun to use my imagination to try and guess what i am supposed to do… when really i should just relax and let what is going to happen, do so gracefully in my life. this experience was really good for me. it was strange because i painted the exact scenario that took place tonight. i had painted a very serene scence with a woman with bangs and her hair tied up on top of her head… her expression was neither happy or sad, but contempt… the the ocean behind her and a subliminal message of love and evil together. it really comes down to balance. 

i biked home and was excited to eat soup and salad. the night got late quick and everyone was asleep… so i decided to watch a documentary about what it means to be "happy". it explored humans all over the globe to see how they lived… what their lifestyle was like and how that affected their happiness. i believe the conclusion was not that there are certain things… it is more a state of mind and also about being around other happy humans that then in turn help you with your achievements.. in order to achieve your goals.. you must be happy.