eighty.one.

i had to force myself to get up early, we had  a staff meeting at nine. it was difficult, and i had pushed it to the last minute as usual. 

i needed the day to be somewhat exciting for myself, so i wore really shiny leggings, it made me feel like a robot… tin man, whatever. the outfit was good. i was late, but at least my ride to wok was a bit, sunny. it was quick, of course i was still ten minutes late… but five minutes early. the meeting started promptly to prove a point, of course most of the staff was late and they missed what was actually happening. but that was the point. the entire thing was rather comical, hopefully a few things will be … brought to light. we had to evaluate each other and write what we thought each person "brought to the table" at the salon, i was able to quickly list off a few things per person. i don't know… this was a good idea, to start getting to the root of the problem, i just think that the problem has spread too thick. we are all the problem… i am my own problem as well. afterwards i found out that no one really had much to say about me… london said it was rather odd that no one really had anything good or bad to say about me… like i was invisible. i actually enjoyed this scenario… I'm hear but i don't get too involved in anyone… or anything. i do my job but i am not… i don't need to be noticed. what i do just happens. i was thankful to have a repeat color client, she has been in my chair the most so far… three times. she is so beautiful and i get to practice my skills … on ombre with her. we have been slowly building her color, i loved it so much yesterday that i didn't take a photo… it just wouldn't capture what i wanted… but i regret just letting her walk out the door… but that is what i do. i just "do" hair and then let the art work walk around. i am terrible at advertising myself… i would rather keep things more quiet and and see who finds out, not the best plan but worth something. I'm just not that excited about myself right now.

the day drags on otherwise… i go to visit niya at her store and get us some lunch. she looks pretty today and we discuss the possibility of her getting a bit of an upgrade to the shop. back to the salon … i found out that my blog will be shown on another carnival, this time faith and philosophy is the topic..i hit one thousand views today, how appropriate… on 4/20. that is worth remembering. this is a becoming a serious matter now… my writing is starting to become discovered, that means i still have to write. i have so much that i need to be doing… in order to get the good material. i turned down a color client… i was tired and over it, so i got a mens haircut instead. he was another repeat… a head of hair that reminds me of alex. i haven't heard from him in awhile, i know why… stupid money.

the haircut went well, it was exhausting… then he wanted to hang out later. this keeps happening… boys sit in my chair and then want to hang out. i am so very flattered about this, but other than… the fact that I'm hardly attracted or nice enough to want to hang out after a fucking eleven hour day dealing with peoples vanity… i suppose this is a problem. 

a haircut walked in the door right at seven… african american style, i panicked and did not want the cut… so london did it. i watched the front and caught up on some readings. finally i was able to leave by eight.. went over to ali's to… meet her new friends. the first time i meet someone is always weird, she was a pretty girl… maybe they were just on another level that i wasn't but i couldn't relate. i didn't try that hard, i normally do not anymore. her friend kyle was cool… but i wasn't interested in him either. he had just come back from colorado… i don't know, something told me to not trust him… they both got too high and went off… ali and i sat on the porch and listened to her neighbors play music. it was good dark southern soul… something we would of benefited from walking down to listen, but then we would have to be social, see the pattern here? either way… we didn't and missed out on meeting people. it got cold and late, i biked home… drunk people were everywhere. i was over it … creeped out by being alone in my apartment, so i worked some on the internet. i was excited to get my photoshoot pictures back from santa monica.. will called with an offer to work on a music video set on friday. we'll see if i can get off work. ian and daniel got home later from a wedding and it was good to have their happy energy around. they could tell i was a little out of it… so i went to sleep early. not much writing, sleeping in jewelry.. a sweater, all the lights on again. happy saturday night.