eighty.seven.

waking up before the sun is something that i will have to get used to, but i am not and california at this time on a friday morning…is non existent. i got ready quickly and will and i headed out the door.  we were driving he joked that this would be the perfect time to shoot an apopocaliptic movie, it really looked like no one lived in LA. our ride was strange through a couple different towns. just outside of LA things a weird, very rundown and random ordered strip malls. the closer we got to the movie set in claremont, the prettier things became off in the distance. you could see the santa ana mountains… we were a little late on set, arriving just at 730 to a lovely house that had the feeling of being in the country.   it was a lot to take in, i noticed first the amazing sliver stream liner and then all the beautufilul people. we had to set up quick and get hair and make.up going. i worked on paige first… she was a tall strange looking character, best described as model like. i liked her features, eyes…. hair… the gap in her front teeth. she wasn't the prettiest person… but she was defiantly beautiful on camera.  it was a quick make.up with the style team to get everyone ready and dressed for the start of the shoot. the stylist were cute, too friends who immediealty made me take off my skirt to be put in the video… they loved it. so did i, will complimented it immedialty as well.  i worked quickly at transforming all the girls into eccentric "coachella" like festival angels. all of them were so beautilufl that it wasn't a difficult task at all. i was able to meet mackenzine who played the little curly girl in seventh heaven and also young dexter. both who were very normal looking people… who just happened to have jobs working on television. i guess you could say I'm not really starstruck because i don't really keep up with either of the shows. it was just neat to have the experience of working on their make.up… helping them put on body tanner.

it was really fun to work with garrett again. i really enjoy him on set, he is very supportive and helpful and i see him as one of the most talented photographers that i have been able to work with. something about him is so intriguing… he is smart,very wise and also oddly attractive. i would say that it is safe to say that he is impressed with my work. after the first few scenes we took a break and sat in the shade to talk… sitting around with these model people.. i felt compelled to take pictures…but i did not take enough at all. it was upsetting because it was my art that was on their bodies, but I'm just not the kind of girl that snaps a bunch of photos of "celebrities". i needed to be in one myself… but that didn't happen either. i tried to be social and talk to a few of them…i was excited that devin was on set and we knew each from the last shoot in santa monica. it was fun to just relax and chat… the stylist girls were complimenting me and asking me questions. the lunch that was prepared for us was amazing… a Mediterranean style buffet of hummus and cucumber salad.. this same meal keeps reappearing. oh so good. i felt like i was in a greece, sitting at the table with the women of the house talking about how they grew up in georgia. i met an adorable couple that when to school in north carolina at duke, they were neat and her boyfriend was in the music industry. i did get to meet the lead guy of jacks mannequin… him and his wife and dog were very lovely and normal… i didn't even know who he was until after he had already left the set. thats how oblivious i can be. the afternoon shoot was fun… they planned for everyone to jump in a pool and then i had to get everyone cleaned up and dressed in white… redoing everyone's make up and painting them with colored paint. we finally listened to the song that the video belonged to… it is a good one. synesthesia… meaning relating one sense to another… with color in this case. the last part was in a field where they danced around throwing colored indian powder at each other. i helped with the movement of colored ribbon… i also was able to go in and explore this trailer that appeared to have belonged to ben harper and the innocent criminals. it was so cool in there… another silver liner that i suppose they went on tour with. it was just so neat to see one of these… as a kid i always wanted to live in one.. whether it be at amanda thomas's backyard where we had one to play in… or aunt audrey who had one her and her husband traveled around in. i can keep dreaming. i took some good pictures with instagram today and managed to get a few comments and likes from… a lot of "followers". two of the models found me somehow… and started following. once the shoot was done… i hung around to clean up and chat. garrett said some really nice things to me… 'keep on mama'. i love it that these influential males keep calling me "mama"… its nice. i exchanged information… shook hands and got a ride to union station from devin. it was nice chatting with her… i could see us becoming friends. she is from colorado and oh os beautiful… that i would love to get to know her better. it was really nice of her to give me a ride.. i was the dj and played a few songs for her from the hound dogs and critters.. but didn't talk about it. we were too busy chatting that i don't think she even noticed that she had never ever even heard these songs ever before. seeing a tractor trailer burning down on the side of the road was crazy… maybe i'll post that one today. stopping at union station was trippy… the entire building was huge, i spent time asking around to figure out how to get to long beach. i figured it out  and managed to finally get a cup of coffee to relax and relive my head ache from the day. it was so good to be here… taking the train home. makes me feel like an independent woman who is conquering the world… alone. the ride was interesting and it was good to see all the bad parts of town along the way… i sang out loud to myself "aint not sunshine" and then realized that i wanted to sing that song… all songs…everywhere. i just want to be the music. i want to sing these songs with either austin or harry everywhere… in the subway, in the train station… on the stairs… on the bus… in the park… on the beach… i just want to be the music. i daydream awhile and then arrive in downtown. the walk with all my bags back to the apartment was the hardest part of my day.. but i made it. back to my lovely oceanside apartment. what a day. the highlight of my career here so far. 

eighty.sixx.

This day was good. I managed to make it to work on time this morning... And I was excited to have a client, repeat color client on the books. She was overwhelmingly nice and was very excited about her much younger boyfriend. I had a vision for her hair, once again.. No pictures. It turned out beautiful and was a well placed merlot red with platinum overall base. I think she will really love it... And I enjoyed catching up with her. It still amazes me that these clients remember me and my work. I started to sweat as I began to speak too much about boys.. It's really silly that I even talk about them because they don't really exist.. They are just a figment of my imagination.. And I'm not sure how I feel... Actually I do, I need to be quiet about it.. But I do know that feelings are real. They have to be.. Else why do these boy(s) consume me. Seriously.. My day went by quickly and soon four o'clock was there.. I managed to get a quick coffee and talk with the coffee shop guy.. Micheal is it? Stopped in at bella mia to talk with niya's sister and Also see the clothes. My last haircut client was the beautiful Valentina, who reminds me of Manveena... She was a lovely and inspirational woman in my chair. She too has relationship issues right now and is fighting her own battles trying to understand love. I just don't know all the answers, hell.. I'm trying to figure them out myself. She talked about music and jewelry and art shows.. I was thankful to see her today.. Maybe she'll read the blog, I don't know if I even want people to read it yet. I don't think I'm ready for that challenge. Then again, no one really asked me. I know that sex sells and that is where I am at right now. 

I packed my things and straightened up.. Talked to Ali on the ride home. I regret missing out on seeing her yesterday.. But it was good to catch up. I got home and quickly packed and got ready for the video shoot. I am very excited about this, I'm trying to make sure to be overly prepared and also to not sike myself out over this. It's just kinda cool that I get an opportunity to do this, it's really wild that it is all happening. I am so thankful that daniel was able to take me to meet Will in Santa Monica. I had him meet us at a dive bar. It was beautiful to see the full moon... Only a month ago I was spending it with austin. I truly now want to see him and play catch up. I suppose thirty days is enough to know if you miss.. Or at least are interested in someone. The bar is called Trip and is perfectly placed on the corner near the sea. The neon Cheshire Cat in the window is a good sign. It's lovely to know that dive bars exists on both coast.. This one fit perfectly into my repitour and reminded me of home. We only had a quick beer and heard a few songs.. I tagged the guys bathroom wall with "critter mania". The band wasn't that great. From one boy to the next.. I was so happy to see Will. It has been over a month and we had a lot of catching up to do. He is a lovely soul... I know where he comes from, and it's still hard to believe I am here doing this. One day.. One step... Meeting each person with purpose. It's very important to be here, taking advantage of each moment.  

eighty.five.

today was really rather lovely. i woke up early and excited to do something different. to explore places i haven't seen.. my outfit was cute simple and colorful, but also practical for the adventure. seeing shea this morning was nice, she is just a good soul. reminds me of the adult version of rachel poole, they have a similar 'walk' and mannerisms. she was running late so i fell asleep on the bed for about thirty minutes, drifting in and out of conisousness. there wasn't much traffic so we arrived quickly. the dark gloomy storm front hovered over the city as we searched for the perfect fabrics. the fashion district is a dark scrappy place, where things move quick and are hustled around in a hurry for cheap. shea was telling me that this reminded her of living in manhattan. 

she is such a stunning lady, i admire her and what she does. she is a mother and married to a great guy currently doing his residency. she used to planning multi-million dollar weddings in new york for years. this is how we connected. really she was interested in me from the start. she was one of those clients that you just loved having in your chair. she reminded me of tammy, and that is an amazing quality. to be that scattered and productive, she just needs help… an assistant of sorts. 

I'm really good at helping people, whether it be to choose things… or just for some extra hands, opinions… travel partners, etc, i have fun hanging out with older women. they are far ahead of me and inspire me to be, they are mature and i really believe i have more in common with them than girls my age. i just had a really good time with her.  and i became very inspired to start sewing… very very soon. i want to create the best maxi skirts, i can start there… because every girl my age wants a good affordable maxi skirt. they are just something amazing to own when traveling… around the house… for an event. so many different types! 

by the end of our time.. we had run over late an hour and were rushing back. i got a really bad headache (most likely from sensory overload) and i came home to snack. i caught up with mom and drank coffee… then took a nap. a nap that exceeded well into the evening…i missed painting time with ali, which now i feel bad about… and i don't even remember my dreams. i was just so exhausted from all the … creativity. i needed to rest… plus my painting is frustrating me right now. no excuse, i was just so warm and comfortable asleep. i woke up just in time to make it to yoga class. the sun was setting and it was really chilly out, i was glad to walk into the small studio, it was comforting and warm. the teacher was very over zealous and quickly hurried me into my place. i was a little unsettled about this, but that is what i get for being "just" on time.  it was only the three of us, she was able to help us more and pay attention to the details of our practice. i enjoyed her enthrusaim and it did seem that she knew about what she was teaching. i prefer teachers that are older than me… but still look young and vibrant. she complimented us and was very reassureing in her comments. it was nice to have someone compliment me, i work really hard to have such a delicate and controlled practice. just as we were winding down… it started to rain. just enough that you could hear it dancing on the tin roof, while we lay still and rested. it stopped just in time… staying after just a few minutes to chat with her. i wasnt really in a hurry, i noticed that a coffee shop had music tonight. i turned around and locked my bike up.. excited that i came in. quite the crowd was gathered in the other side room… a good space, i like the sound. enjoying a green tea latte and listening to the music was exactly what i needed in my life. i found a chair and got comfortable. each person performed about one or two songs… poems. many of the artist reminded me of people from home. the sister duo sang songs they had just written… one talking about how much she loves to see him smile… he is just a stranger, but she chooses to like him. the guy that struck some chords and had an entourage reminded me of sterling… if he were to write songs and perform them. tall and handsome, but oh so quirky… i know he gets his way a lot of the time. then there was liz. she sang back up and then performed a few poems. i liked where she was at and some of the words she spoke. "true love is when you radiate with them in your thoughts" .

that explains a lot for me. i am so internally happy because i am indeed thought about… i think about a lot of those that i love each day.

this true love is getting me close to my true self.

she commenting on my yoga mat and we began to talk. she also liked my stella and dot scarf… we exchanged information and chatted while. i also met george and he performs there too. i found out where i am supposed to be to find the music. it is just a matter of time now.

i feel like it is ridiculous that i have waited this long.

i biked home in the sprinkles of water, quickly… smiling that i had just discovered this piece of heaven for myself.

i ate dinner and chatted with the boys, its not often that we are all home and in the kitchen. oliver made some soup that he shared with me. i spent some time trying to figure out this stella and dot party… staying up so late and trying not to worry with things that i can't control. i have so much ahead of me for the following days that it will be good for me. it will occupy my mind. it is days like today that are my retreat. reminding me of what is to come my way…. dreams of this day. i am supposed to be here.

eighty.four.

“Style is the answer to everything.
A fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous thing
To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without it
To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art

Bullfighting can be an art
Boxing can be an art
Loving can be an art
Opening a can of sardines can be an art

Not many have style
Not many can keep style
I have seen dogs with more style than men,
although not many dogs have style.
Cats have it with abundance.

When Hemingway put his brains to the wall with a shotgun,
that was style.
Or sometimes people give you style
Joan of Arc had style
John the Baptist
Jesus
Socrates
Caesar
García Lorca.

I have met men in jail with style.
I have met more men in jail with style than men out of jail.
Style is the difference, a way of doing, a way of being done.
Six herons standing quietly in a pool of water,
or you, naked, walking out of the bathroom without seeing me.”
― Charles Bukowski

on a day like today i was able to sleep in. i was able to not worry with being in a hurry and i could just be. i know that there was so much going on in california, but for now, for me… being along in a quiet room is where i really love to be. i talk with michelle and tupper for awhile this morning, i like hearing their voices… just talking about nonsense and also how to achieve our goals. i needed to just feel that reacquainted reassuring feeling of friendship. i ate a light breakfast and drank coffee and wrote on the porch. the breeze was a bit chilly, but the sun kept me warm and tanned my skin. between laundry loads i laid on the porch, absorbing the sunlight and changing my skin color. i spent some time reading up on stella & dot, trying to become acquainted to the setting and how to get this trunk show on the road. i was thankful to be able to talk to amanda for awhile today. she is a great mentor and role model for me to have in my life. she is just always really happy, colorful and hopeful of all situations. something about this girl.. she said the same thing about me… "you are like a drug". i think i know that feeling. jazz was the soundtrack for my afternoon of studying and spending money.. online. i ordered just a few more things for my show and then went shopping with ali. we had a few errands to run… haven't been to cosmo prof in awhile, but i was let down when they didn't have the nail polish i wanted. then to micheals… to get art supples. I'm really excited about this project… my favorite thing is a blank canvas. it was nice to see the moon this evening… we finished our shopping at whole foods, getting a few groceries for the week. we both got our juice and then back to the car where sydney was crying and waiting for us. her emotional dog gives me anxiety, i just don't understand why he cries all the time. he honestly drives me crazy, and the last thing i need to be worrying with is a dog. but ali loves him, so they will keep him around a bit longer. 

it is funny how i forget a lot of the details of the day,… it is just that currently they don't seem so important, but I'm positive that i will want them later.

making a lovely salad and soup for dinner, i sat down and watched the documentary enlighten up… where nick was searching for some kind of spiritual awaking from a six month immersion process. i know that i want this process, i know that i need to have that … sense of breaking down and trying to ask why and understand. i enjoyed learning and listening to the different gurus speak on what yoga is… 

it is all so intriguing to me… but i know that intelligent challenging people do exist, they are just quiet. 

i texted austin earlier in the day wishing his time well and suggesting that we see each other soon. about twelve hours later i heard from him… this boy. 

i spent some more time working on stella & dot and then i just can't do this day anymore. I'm ready for sleep. 

eighty.three.

it is always a little easier to wake up when you know that you have the next two days off. i wasn't too creative with dressing, but i love that the clothes i wear now have been in my wardrobe for several years. i need to slow down a bit, take my time and enjoy the ride. i am in no such hurry really, basically i just need to be on time. which i managed to be very much on time this morning, and since it was only london and i… the morning was very pleasant. i spent some time meditating on the deck, it is so lovely on the roof… feeling the breeze and listening to the birds sing. it was exactly where i wanted to be, for the moment. the day was slow and quiet, i did have one walk-in client, joe, he is a reporter for the LA Times and was talking about how he was working on a book. i like something about him, he reminded me of ed hufford. he had such kind blue eyes. this was my only appointment for the day… we passed the time by ordering really good southern style food from the attic, which was good… but very saturated with fat. i felt kinda gross but just pushed on. london taught me how to braid in weave and then he showed me his "eco feathers" which he designed during the feather fad… i was excited about these because i needed some sort of interest added to my hair. the red and black striped one reminds me of the shirt that harry wore… for all of summer 2011. and i added in three black and white striped pieces… very "cat in the hat". as we all know… i am obsessed with just a few certain things. sitting on the porch in the afternoon… london and i spent some time going through magazines and discussing fashion. this is our life… talking about clothes and shoes… lace & leather. i finally said it out loud.. "i miss austin". "well, why don't you summon him", said london. he has a point. i haven't really put much effort into it, i just wanted to leave him be. i know that both of our lives are wild and crazy, or at least really busy with being so damn creative that how on earth shall we find time. but i should listen to london… just alittle longer. patience, but mine has run dry. 

i play harry's songs in the salon, since it is really quiet and i have a bit of control of the situation, which i like. his voice gets me every time. every single time.. the newest song by the critters explains a lot… "i don't wanna be here blues" i have those a often, i wonder if london knew that was him, I'm assuming he knows all. i danced around and enjoyed myself just like i was at a show. but that is how i am, he gets me.

earlier in the morning london made a comment that made me do a bit of research, he said that he was curious about who was the alpha female in the building, and depending on who is was… would determine why all the girls are losing it "this week"… i looked up some information and i believe i may be one of them. i suppose there can me more than one, especially in the salon industry because we are not always present and it does require a certain type of model or leadership each day is different. but i qualify. all the details described me… all the exposure of testosterone makes the females ring finger just a bit longer than the index… which in turn changes our brains and makes us think more like a man. somedays, i feel like i am a man trapped in a woman's body… not that i lust after girls… i just understand both sides and relate really well to males.

there is a lot to be said about an alpha female, she has so much responsibility that i don't even know if I'm up for that challenge… but i suppose no one asked. it is just how it is going to be. that explains why i am rarely ever attracted to men, unless they are far far beyond myself and therefore inspire and push me harder. i guess… just like a wolf, i am interested in chasing him around a bit. 

i was able to get out of work at a decent hour, right before the sun set. but not soon enough.. i spent some time altering these fake bang hair pieces. i had yet to cut them and place them in my hair in such a way that it worked… but london helped me figure it out. i piled my hair up on top of my head and looked very… retro. we laughed and i biked home in them, hurriedly got ready for yoga class… and biked back to cherry and fourth. i was very excited about class this evening because i knew we would be singing.  i have been exploring the kungdahlini practice since i arrived, it is a very interesting concept of breathing exercises and streches that free your mind and open in up in a way that it slows it down. i haven't done much research on the subject, but i do enjoy the concept. it is strange how all the breathing makes your hands and feet tingle with numbness for just a few seconds.. then you are able to just relax and be still, take in the moment. i had a few really good thoughts while i was there, they made a small smile cross my face. i shouldn't care what anyone thinks about me, that is just one of my worldy defaults… like harry said in his song "i have been here since time"… and with time i will discover all that i am meant to accomplish. it is fun to use my imagination to try and guess what i am supposed to do… when really i should just relax and let what is going to happen, do so gracefully in my life. this experience was really good for me. it was strange because i painted the exact scenario that took place tonight. i had painted a very serene scence with a woman with bangs and her hair tied up on top of her head… her expression was neither happy or sad, but contempt… the the ocean behind her and a subliminal message of love and evil together. it really comes down to balance. 

i biked home and was excited to eat soup and salad. the night got late quick and everyone was asleep… so i decided to watch a documentary about what it means to be "happy". it explored humans all over the globe to see how they lived… what their lifestyle was like and how that affected their happiness. i believe the conclusion was not that there are certain things… it is more a state of mind and also about being around other happy humans that then in turn help you with your achievements.. in order to achieve your goals.. you must be happy. 

eighty.two.

i need to shift my perspective just a bit. waking up with an intention of trying to be … on time. this day is cloudy on my ride, but i need to focus not on myself…. i wasn't placed here for myself.

i was as close to on time as i could be … spending some time straightening up. i was excited to get a color client, but this immediately stirred up trouble with the other girls. one in particular was upset that she felt skipped, like it was supposed to be her client. i don't know what came over her, but she refused to let it go…and soon enough she was throwing a tantrum and storming out, as if she was a child. this display was unnecssary, she quit and then was gone. she said a lot of mean things to summer… like sb said "we were rooting for her…" but after that? 

my client was a lovely young girl from new york, i didn't realize she was so young… she had recently been stationed here in the coast guard, her friend meaghan made the appointment. they were both beautiful girls and i was glad that susie was able to share these beautiful women with me… they both went much darker in color, i played it too safe as usual… especially since caroline had never colored her hair before. her cut turned out really nice…. trish came in really sick from the night before… things got screwed up at the register.. now there is a password, so nothing can be done to change anything. this whole work nonsense is making me mad. 

i was glad to get another appointment because shannon "quit". it was a lovely girl that just moved here from florida. she was frail tan thing with really long beautiful hair. she just needed a trim… and she really did need it. we talked about yoga for awhile, i was really impressed with her knowledge about it… we also discussed a lot of other things, like music and what to do. since we are so new to town, we have so much more to figure  out. i think we hit it off very well…. 

I'm just ready to leave now and I'm tired of hearing about the drama. london left early… all of this place is driving me wild. he made the comment earlier in the day that i was one of the reasons he still came to work… the fact that i am indeed a fashion ninja is true….but i wouldn't go as far as… a reason. I'm not that important.

i was excited to style faith's hair first thing in the morning, she is one of the estaticians… a beautiful lady in her forties, but u wouldn't know it by her hair and skin. it's women like her that i admire, she agreed to throw my first stella and dot trunk show with me… i am very excited, also nervous… but you just have to push through that. it is what i am assigned to do.

i came home… and ate, and have to wind down. spent some time researching how to get stella and dot invitations, i have to do that within the next few days… also i watched a sermon. it was a good one. i need to be more of a servant in this life. i have always been a servant… "what can i do to serve you" must be my reply to the earthly creatures, it is the only way to use my power. i know this. i knew this…. this is why i am suffering here, all the way on the other side of the world. away from all that i know and love. i guess it helped that michelle texted me that she felt the same way as i do, but she is at "home". i guess the feeling is constant and there isn't much we can do to change it. i think that means our purpose is bigger than happiness… i hope that i get to help others…  let them hear the "angels"music. 

eighty.one.

i had to force myself to get up early, we had  a staff meeting at nine. it was difficult, and i had pushed it to the last minute as usual. 

i needed the day to be somewhat exciting for myself, so i wore really shiny leggings, it made me feel like a robot… tin man, whatever. the outfit was good. i was late, but at least my ride to wok was a bit, sunny. it was quick, of course i was still ten minutes late… but five minutes early. the meeting started promptly to prove a point, of course most of the staff was late and they missed what was actually happening. but that was the point. the entire thing was rather comical, hopefully a few things will be … brought to light. we had to evaluate each other and write what we thought each person "brought to the table" at the salon, i was able to quickly list off a few things per person. i don't know… this was a good idea, to start getting to the root of the problem, i just think that the problem has spread too thick. we are all the problem… i am my own problem as well. afterwards i found out that no one really had much to say about me… london said it was rather odd that no one really had anything good or bad to say about me… like i was invisible. i actually enjoyed this scenario… I'm hear but i don't get too involved in anyone… or anything. i do my job but i am not… i don't need to be noticed. what i do just happens. i was thankful to have a repeat color client, she has been in my chair the most so far… three times. she is so beautiful and i get to practice my skills … on ombre with her. we have been slowly building her color, i loved it so much yesterday that i didn't take a photo… it just wouldn't capture what i wanted… but i regret just letting her walk out the door… but that is what i do. i just "do" hair and then let the art work walk around. i am terrible at advertising myself… i would rather keep things more quiet and and see who finds out, not the best plan but worth something. I'm just not that excited about myself right now.

the day drags on otherwise… i go to visit niya at her store and get us some lunch. she looks pretty today and we discuss the possibility of her getting a bit of an upgrade to the shop. back to the salon … i found out that my blog will be shown on another carnival, this time faith and philosophy is the topic..i hit one thousand views today, how appropriate… on 4/20. that is worth remembering. this is a becoming a serious matter now… my writing is starting to become discovered, that means i still have to write. i have so much that i need to be doing… in order to get the good material. i turned down a color client… i was tired and over it, so i got a mens haircut instead. he was another repeat… a head of hair that reminds me of alex. i haven't heard from him in awhile, i know why… stupid money.

the haircut went well, it was exhausting… then he wanted to hang out later. this keeps happening… boys sit in my chair and then want to hang out. i am so very flattered about this, but other than… the fact that I'm hardly attracted or nice enough to want to hang out after a fucking eleven hour day dealing with peoples vanity… i suppose this is a problem. 

a haircut walked in the door right at seven… african american style, i panicked and did not want the cut… so london did it. i watched the front and caught up on some readings. finally i was able to leave by eight.. went over to ali's to… meet her new friends. the first time i meet someone is always weird, she was a pretty girl… maybe they were just on another level that i wasn't but i couldn't relate. i didn't try that hard, i normally do not anymore. her friend kyle was cool… but i wasn't interested in him either. he had just come back from colorado… i don't know, something told me to not trust him… they both got too high and went off… ali and i sat on the porch and listened to her neighbors play music. it was good dark southern soul… something we would of benefited from walking down to listen, but then we would have to be social, see the pattern here? either way… we didn't and missed out on meeting people. it got cold and late, i biked home… drunk people were everywhere. i was over it … creeped out by being alone in my apartment, so i worked some on the internet. i was excited to get my photoshoot pictures back from santa monica.. will called with an offer to work on a music video set on friday. we'll see if i can get off work. ian and daniel got home later from a wedding and it was good to have their happy energy around. they could tell i was a little out of it… so i went to sleep early. not much writing, sleeping in jewelry.. a sweater, all the lights on again. happy saturday night.