i woke up to niya yelling. "its (9:45!) well this was a problem for the morning, considering we were in LA and i needed to be at work in Long Beach.
i think i laughed the whole way. i was still too drunk to comprehend how this day was about to go… i put my shoes on and we managed to make it back before 10:30
then apparently the night went as followed…. i kissed gabriel.
then niya slept with him
it was supposed to be me.
but the crazy moment was when i don't remember anything.
usually on "these" nights i can usually recall something…
a feeling. a moment…
but i go nothing.
its as if nothing really happened at all.
but this kid started to get under my skin.
i didn't get to brush my teeth or wash my face… i was wearing the same outfit from the night before. i know i looked a little off….i indeed needed something to eat. jacks bacon egg and cheese biscuit was a good choice. i pulled together two chairs on the back deck and slept for awhile. it was all i could do…. was to sleep.
i woke up hot and unconomfrtalbe. the sun had moved and i managed to get a sun tan line that stayed on my stomach.
i tried to sleep some more but i was over it. claudia just happened to have some watermelon, and i walked over to niya's to see her.
she is upset and panicking about the night before…. but i am thankful. in more ways than one. i am thankful that it wasn't me. i needed it not to be me…
i needed the innocnence to last as long as possible. I'm even thankful that i don't remember kissing him. the mystery of my "lost kiss" drives me wild.
i went back to the salon for a late afternoon color. i wasn't sure at first what i was getting myself into… but jocelyn turned out to be such a blessing of a clinet. she wanted a complete change of style… a ombre and side shaved variation of a style .i used the inspiration of a deep sun set to create the movement and flow… from red to a lovely blonde, i think i did a good job on her hair.
she works for a zen spa and i am interested in this "concept" becoming involved in this "movement" might be good for me,but as i said to her… i don't want to open doors that i can't shut.
it is a interesting thing to know more than you are supposed to.
do i really even know something?
I'm a bit dramatic.
the day continues and we both get off work… she gives me a ride home and we discuss more of the night passed… he wants me to have his number… but instead i make her give him mine… because i don't want to make the first move.
we text for some time and establish that neither of us remember our very first kiss. how did it happen? i wish i could recall just the tiniest of detail. did i get really close to his face first… what did he taste like? all these i want to know.. i do not like it at all when i don't remember my own shenanigans.
the house party at my place was nice.. lots of boys together to play cards.
i enjoy seeing rex and talking with him. he is such a character and i start to use my advantages to his interest and we talk all night. sitting on the back porch and watching the moon be bright and still. i just don't know what to do…
but the card game we played for "horrible people" was comical. i was thankful that ali came over to see him and break up the crowd of men.
strange things… i enjoyed sitting in a circle surrounded by men/
i actually loved that feeling and hope that i am able to feel it again…
i went to bed and slept well… i was tired.
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