the construction woke me up earlier than i pleased this morning. there was a lot of movement and chaos scurrying about. i can feel the energy and it was really annoying first thing. it made me get up and i spent some time writing in bed. the last week i had been putting off a lot of things. I've been just over it and the mood had led me to drag my feet… not doing things like i should. i suppose depression is to blame for most of my behavior. it is a real disorder and if you can't get control over it… then it will take over.
i was eager to practice yoga with darren. his class last week made me excited for the one today and i ate a quick breakfast for energy and hurried along. on my way there i passed shannon and talked with her on the street for a few minutes but had to cut that short or i would be late. the weather is really nice out and the purple trees are beginning to shed their petals which look lovely in scattered circles below. i arrived just on time and was the only student. this gave me some added excitement because i knew that the class would be focused on me. he asked me what i needed to work on and i explained that my shoulders hurt and i have trouble with getting into poses fast because i haven't been able to practice as often as i used to.
the heat in the room was nice to help relive any pressure that has built it up. i am beginning to enjoy being covered in my own sweat… knowing that the toxins are being flushed out and i am helping my body to "reset". he has an abundance of knowledge on how to detox through movement and i am eager to learn. he helps adjust my movements and move me along in the poses. it was a nice change of pace to have a difficult class, one where i actually experienced a new feeling. he showed me how to rest upside down on my head stand with blocks on my shoulders. it was a lovely inversion that releases your shoulders and neck while also re circulating the blood flow in your whole body. he spotted me through many upside poses and i felt like i was in gymnastics class again… i had a connection with him throughout the time but not in a way of … what you would think with a character like him. it was in a way that i know we are on the same level and he could really help me excel in my yoga practice. afterward i had a few questions to ask and he quickly let me know he had a girlfriend. this is a relief to me… because now i know i can relax and just have a student teacher relationship. its nice when guys that i think i may be attracted to have girlfriends because then it eases the tension in my mind…lets me just "be" around them instead of having to avoid or put on a show. silly huh?
he saw that i was riding a bike and so was he… his bike (that he was borrowing from a friend) was a trek townie and reminded me of ashton. he had a hand drum and we chatted a minute outside and he invited me to see his band play music at a small pizza place on the corner of 7th and PCH…. i was kinda excited to go to something like this. we'll see if it works out.
i biked back home and made a nice lunch of the one egg i had left, a cheese stick and rice. there isn't much food left so this is my option… i sat at the dining room table and watched a few npr music concerts, one in particular that i really like by iron & wine and then a few new ones. the internet was being difficult to load so i had to listen to it on the speakers. i spent time catching up on a lot of writing…. it was good to change the scenery.
ali called and we planned our afternoon of shopping for food. both of us had put this off for a few weeks. first we went on a really nice bike ride down the ocean side path with syd to take him to the dog beach. we spent some time there walking back and forth along the shore. then to bike back and head to the farmers market. its nice to stock up on fresh produce and i spent too much money on other nonsense like cake balls and granola bars. we met niya there, she was with tom and we spent some time chatting and snacking. ali and i failed with ordering cecviche and then resorted to our usual empanada. we left and went to whole foods where i proceeded to spend way too much money. it was frustrating because i don't have any money to spend, but i have to eat.
i got home and unpacked my things and then planned to go hear the reggae music with niya… i got ready and really liked my outfit and hair… but i did have a zit on my lip that i was trying not to mess with until after we got back. i took off my nail polish since it was so chipped and i haven't seen my nails without red on them in almost a year and a half. the nail beds are sore and i think i will let them breathe for a day. i caught up on Facebook and laughed because my childhood friend lauren white uploaded photos of us from when we were really young. it was so funny to see my childhood self with terrible bangs. i've always kinda looked the same though… i had platinum blonde streaks in my hair always as a child and the crazy curl waves everywhere. i remember the birthday party well, it was the first time that i was able to ride a pony. she posted another older one with my mom holding me, she is a beautiful woman with insane hair.
niya never showed up and i had a few glasses of wine and watched a sermon about fighting. i was tired and started to get bored and close my eyes. i did manage to take a few notes and i would say that i made it through the majority of the sermon before falling alsleep. I'm now in the habit of waking up at five am and turning off all the lights.
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