sixty.nine.

(monday) 

i wake up once again with all the lights on. it makes it easier to wake up i suppose, i had to spend some time writing. it is very important that i keep up with these entries. i don't like writing them the next day… all the night dreaming sets you up for a different angle. its hard for me to recall all the details… here i am, its almost impossible for me to remember what i dreamed last night… i know i remember it this morning. i suppose i need to at least write a paragraph about my dreams in the morning. i lagged a bit while getting ready, wore a simple out fit and combat boots. today is the end of my work week, and now i will be able to relax a few days. it is so bizarrely windy out today, my ride to work was warm and quick, i was riding with the wind. i spend the morning just snacking on fruit and drinking tea. spending time with london, as soon as i arrived he greeted me with a creation. a bronzed head piece that i had mentioned i wanted from a magazine. i loved it, it sat well in my fizzy dirty hair… i wore it all day, as it was very comfortable and matched my outfit. i know that i had to of looked like quite the sight. we talked about our usual vain and cynical nonsense, which is starting to become a sin in an of it's self. the day wasn't too painfully slow.. i wrote some, caught up on events in long beach..art shows, work shops, meetings… i spend some time outside on the porch… london and i went for a quick walk and he convinced me to get ice-cream from the coffee shop… which proved to be impulse and upset my stomach. it was poor quality and londons rocky road flavor was full of random things, piece of plastic, old marsh mellow and an icicle. we were kinda moody and stayed close, back inside for work… i managed to get one walk in, neil. he was a nice looking older gentle man. i can see our relationship turning out nice, he was a clever man. very quiet and simple. i know that doesn't probably stand true for the description of what he is really like… i spent time talking to jackie on the phone, catching up and laughing about why we become such good friends. we talked about boys, vented… shall i say. i talked to lindsey about her trip out here tomorrow. i am thankful she is coming out here… it should be an interesting few days. 

the salon was so quiet, it was painful. we closed early, riding in the wind was hard to do. it gave me more of a challenge. i made leftovers from yesterday… a random assortment of what nots… candy, chocolate world. haha… actually it was kale, carrots and edamae beans. i spent some time talking to joe and catching up. it was one of the first times in awhile that i recapped my dreamy future. he complimented me… made me feel better. i just feel like I'm being trapped in a tiny glasss box, i can only see out into the world, the amazing wonderful moments are just out of my reach. while talking to him for hours i sketched a quick photo of austin, just because i was thinking about him earlier. and then i drew a unicorn, i remembered drawing horses as a child. i miss this very much.. her, the little girl that i used to have time for… a crazy imagination. well, i suppose that hasn't changed. i spent the later part of the night watching a sermon about first love. it gave me some very good insight on what it means to be single. how empowering and liberating it is. how i know that being single is the only way that i will be able to accomplish god's word. singleness is a gift to me, but be who i am and focus on my personal self in order to set an example and educate others. i was blessed with so many gifts, one being an artist. one of my most precious gifts.