waking up with the girls at four am so they could catch their flight…i try and sleep through the movement, they shower and get ready to fly… unlike me, who just get up and go… i am sleeping and hug them goodbye, i really did have a good time while they were here. neither of them knew how to hug me, I'm noticing not a lot of people do know how to hug. I'm going to miss them, and hope for their safe travels. i knew that lindsey was stressed out and tired and was ready to leave the day before, i was trying to be happy and stoked and show them around.
i had fallen asleep early and didn't write, so five am was a good time for peace and quiet. I'm beginning to understand what "breaking rules" is all about.
i should start getting up really early and taking advantage of all of my time. i couldn't go back to sleep and was leaving it up to ali and answer her text message about yoga. simon was teaching the first class of the day, i was very excited about it. the cold dreary day brings me back to the winter season… the class made me nervous, i felt hungry and decided to live in down dog for the beginning, trying to see what was going on inside of me. his voice is mezmirising, i haven't been so intrigued in pushing myself since anne. the hard part is that he is a male and doesn't know the … female to the whole degree, but i can tell that he believes in tolerance, and could understand. the things he said, the passion behind his voice is what draws in closer to myself, trying to focus on streching and holding all of my muscles in the right place. i also like that he corrects me, the first class i took with him, he was all about it… i didn't even realize that i was… just a bit off.
he said some important things… about how to look forward, not down. be aware that the present exist, but always look forward. and also about breathing to let go. not wasting energy… ever. this class covered me sweat, and left me having to give in… give up, which actually hurt me more, gave me more strain. so from now on.. i'll practice as if its my first time, leaving all the bad habits behind. i NEED to push myself. i NEED to be a stronger force. i hold myself back a lot, just because at times…id rather just be left alone. but when you are in control, things can actually start changing. in due time.
we got coffee and i had a spinach and kale pocket and then i had to hurry home. getting ready for work was quick, the bike ride was exhausting. i was ready for it, but it took me awhile. of course i managed to get distracted and was running late. the energy was weird this morning… I'm not sure about it yet. being gone for just one day was changes a lot. that night i had a dream about shannon catching her boyfriend in bed and with another girl (i suppose that is was because i saw her post on fb about it, sometime about the time i was falling asleep) but i imagined the event exactly how it happened. so weird. the girls sat around and talked about it because the business was so slow.. i had a few clients, thank goodness. one, janie who is becoming to be a regular, she reminds me of someone… her hair cut went well, she said god has his plan for everyone. she was glad that things were going better.. strange how people think about me?
i have to stop and get ready… for ali's photoshoot, writing the next morning is not how its supposed to happen. I'm going to be late.
the day was quickly slow, i had a client that was one of my first repeat clients, she reminds me of someone… (crazy how i can't even remember the events of the day, since i didn't write last night) this client said some important things, we talked about her vacation in hawaii and some places i should go for art? around town. she also said "god has a plan for everything". it takes time. i like how at east she is…
then ian and ali came in to see me, ian needed a haircut for the photo shoot tomorrow. it was fun, kinda busy tucked back in the corner. they are cute, london was giving glen a haircut on the other side of the wall. it was nice that another client requested, i like her hair, an giving her haircuts. it made the day pass by quicker and london was ready to leave around five thirty… i biked with a quickness to meet ian and daniel for sushi. the place was strange, downtown across the street from roscoe's. i always have to double take when i see their friend danny… is it. he is there with his boyfriend from london… he is a flight attendant. i like him, he was good guy… the sushi was good, as usual order too much food, I'm always a clueless mess. the seaweed salad was good, weirdest music videos I've ever heard… lots of choreographed japanese/chinese girls in actually adorable fashion, some of it was over the top. the show was being projected onto a giant screen in the dining area of the sushi take out restaurant. all the servers yelled and were characters… rather weird.
across the way was omar's house, i remembered meeting him when i first go here
this day obvisouly isn't of that much intrestst to me. i wonder why. it was kinda a drag, i remember all asleep in the office, i wasn't that excited about what i wearing… not that many clients, i was in a negative bad mood, but not really. just feeling scattered and trying to figure out what I'm reaching for. why why do i feel so restless.
i did get a lesson on taxes and the IRS from omar, so note to self, pay attention to taxes and pay them. keep them correct, we are in debt and we will scrounge for our money. i see this now, i've seen the poor side of life… my entire life. what would it actually be like to have money? i don't know, i don't think that is what i want for now. i also can't keep being held down by those around me. i have to get out of this limbo out… but you are the company you keep, and the thing about work is… you can't choose who you work with. I'm just going to have to change it up more, be there less. try my best to be there… when i am there. i am still deciding if i want more responsibility. i wouldn't mind it really… i don't have that much of a life, mainly just doing things that keep me sane.
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