somedays i just feel like all is right in the world. i am exactly where i am today because it is exactly where i am supposed to be. this is how i make a living, styling peoples hair and trying to help them stay healthy and help themselves. i am just a human as well. and i am very sick.
i had a random sleep with my hair wet and all the lights on, waking up not much that i can remember throughout the night. i feel very vain at this moment, as all I'm in tranced with right now is myself and what makes me very happy. i feel bad about it, vanity is a wild thing. but my brain hurts.
the ride to work was nice, i worked out some last night and it made me feel better this morning. i was able to get there on time, another cloudy morning. walking into the chaos. the day was mixed up and i passed up clients for clients that didn't even exist. i don't like too much change in my schedule. i really liked my other clients, a lot. i talked to Eduardo, he might be fun to go with, he likes music. we shall see… "just as friends". ha, thats what they all say.
i enjoyed my time with london and shannon was in a good mood, its just nicer this way, but the salon was quiet. its going to take time. a lot of time for things to start making sense. too many hands in the pot makes for chaos. i know this, i know too much already really. i could easily step back, but i think i have crossed over the line today. crossed a very important line. i feel like i have my art organized. that is a really important thing for to me to be able to grow, and share. i am an artist. this is a challenge forever.
the personality of wolves suits me… makes me think of coach gardner. he was an amazing man, i could never figure him out, but he likes something about me. he was sort of a mentor for a few years. he said.. "burton, there should be a book about you". i just laughed and carried on, i was young, innocent and simple. yet somehow still so dark and eery, bizarre intelligence.
it was a late long day, but those days are good, you can make some money. then i bought some whiskey and biked home. i made dinner, a creative concoction of leftovers. it was very good… but i haven't the best appetite lately, due to the cold. i spend the rest of the night working on my website, i make very much progress, I'm doing well with getting things done. i haven't much time at all and it is very important that i keep this going. i have to stay strong through all of it. if I'm going to go through with this… east to west coast gig…i have to work hard and stay true to my reason. my god and my art.
the name tehra is from terah.. the father of abraham. he was a man that worshiped idols… but turned to the lord later in life. his son went on the travel and do great things.
the simple change in letters makes all the difference. it stands out to people. the name of a rock star? some one you would remember. that is my calling.
i think about wolves because it is currently the only thing that i can relate to now. i have no excuse. for anything. i just have to relax… get well. and then WORK HARD. you have built everything. a few stickers and then you are on your way. business cards too… this can be done.
this is the life that i have built. in god's name, amen.
pressure to place
the blocks neatly stacked in rows.
vertical to the floor
they stand in long lines
perfect rows that cover
the ground.
growing new leaves
in innocent dirt
bringing life to
a new form of
love.
the love that is self sustaining.
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