eighteen.

darjeeling tea. the darjeeling limited. today was saturday. it was one of those beautiful days that i needed. i was sure that it would be good, i mean i was wearing leather leggings. its funny because i've had these for years, i just never knew when it was going to be back. they were amazing all along. 

my bike ride to work was much earlier, we had a meeting. i actually enjoy them, it makes for a good day. they sun was out, felt like early spring. as we constantly go around the circle and explain ourselves… i enjoy the sweets of the day. but i enjoy getting to know the surroundings and feel things out. the new girl is wonderful, from england. of course! beth. i've never had a close friend with this name. i can tell she is going to be a beautiful creature to work with. i eat some fruit and enjoy the porch. its so nice up there and i talk with mom and ryan, for like an hour each. its just nice to talk and catch up. and it lets me escape for awhile. i enjoy just talking to the people that i love. i am comfortable, time again to move. i enjoy the company. looking at mens fashion and thinking about really comfortable means shoes. skinny jeans and … mens haircuts. i just want it to be insane. ly happy. my first client's hair was my mothers. the thick heavy curls that you can't contain. so beautiful and wild, but oh so hard to deal with. i was so happy to control the chaos and straighten them. it was her birthday today, she is much like my mother. just a good mom trying to make things happen for her children. i hope that i could offer some peace for her. the second client reminded me of mimi. her name was carol.. what i was to be named… thank goodness not. sophia said i had the name of a star… we can't all be celluloid stars, i promise I'm not her. its not her… but i tried to capture what carol was seeing. the earliest of the morning was nice. london enjoyed his letter i suppose. he said it made him cry… sometimes you have to feel that. i just needed to share some feelings, about a boy. we watched a few videos.. not much. ian and daniel picked me up from work to go grocery shopping, its like a family. our dinner was so lovely, the steak and potatoes was like a summer afternoon. when everything was perfect. only i would be falling in love a vampire. its the irony of the entire thing. i met a beautiful woman tonight… chantelle. a bizarre looking girl. someone i would like to get to know. i want to spend time with her. she just seems beautiful. one of ians oldest friends. we watched the darjeeling limited. a strange movie that reminded me of the making movies when i was a child. i wrote them, did all the costume, hair and makeup and filming.. editing haha in the early nineties. so silly. life must just be a series of metaphors. some times we can see them. other times our feelings get in the way. 

growing so fast. i've learned to move a lot. to tell a story and to let go. keep moving lightly, else you can't move fast enough. there is just too much to take in. i was so thankful to get the new spot. its like a different place now. i have a much better view. the corner in the loft. a spot that is pushed aside and a secret. i just can't be seen too much. its like a magic show sometimes. you have to step out of the picture for others to realize you are… missing.