it's not a matter of up or down really.
i haven't a clue what i am doing anymore. i have reached a dead end it seems? is it though? is sitting around thinking that i shouldn't exist here really be doing me any good? i have't a clue anymore.
that boredom of what is.
wednesday.
i slept too much. i think that might be what is getting to me. I'm sleeping too much. i think that i should be out and about. stop being so damn selfish.
i had breakfast. spent some time writing and organizing the closet.
i read a book… well I'm reading a book called… letters to a young poet. most of the book is now underlined and marked up with pen. it has a lot of good points. i like how it is timeless. i want my words to become timeless.
it talked about how God is to come. i liked the way he put the words…. about how you must prepare to love him. i don't even want to try and capture his words. just how he says them is perfect. you should read it.. its the letter from october 29,1903.
he also talked about solitude. that is how you really learn what you are. i had to leave. i had to go to know what i am.
the day was slow but i liked the pace… sitting in the sun was nice and hopefully good for my skin. i just liked how the heat felt on my body, i had time to sit still and read these letters. i was just content with my thoughts for while.
niya came to get me… our first conversation is about how weird everything is. we have run out of things to talk about and spent a lot of our time being quiet. i was glad that ali came to spice up the night, she is always the best time ever. something about that girl…
we went to get wine and then to ross to pick out a few decorations for the store… three bottles should do and some treats. it was really hot and her sister and friend were there… i was immediately turned off by her sisters friends, its mainly because i don't connect with early twenty somethings…
i should just relax. things are happening and i don't even know about it. it has to be . i must just stay focused and most of all stay humble. sometimes i loose sight of that…. humble.
relax. the evening was fun. it was good to get out with the girls…. ali, niya, tamara and i.
this is going to be fun. we thought we had free tickets to the laugh factory, but you can't use them on the fourth wednesday of the month… it pissed me off a bit, but we decided on something different.
we were at the pike, lots more to choose from, niya suggested the mai tai bar. it had a decent view of the bay front with the queen mary.. lighthouse and lots of lights. there was a guy playing music, he did a cover of rihannas "like diamonds in the sky". i liked his choice of sounds and thought about alex. text him and he responded… i managed to get the guy's name at the bar… bo napoleon. his dad is the entertainment manager at the bar. he plays there on wednesday nights.
hum.
we walk over the Sgt. peppers dueling piano bar and it's hilarious from the time we walk in. they shine a light on us and say something ridiculous. we decide to sit up front which is a decent choice because they give us free drinks. two guys play requests from the audience while at times make up their own lyrics and banter with the crowd. it was really fun to sing out loud, even though i am terrible at it. i have a lot of work to do.
do not loose your childlike wonder. i beg of you… even with all the responsibility. even with all the strife.stay true to your imagination and ability to wonder. for it is that moment when you have given up all sense of hope… then He steps in and makes you breathe again.
No comments:
Post a Comment