change is good.
i woke up and used all the energy i had in me to make it to work on time. it was a dreary morning as usual… but once i was at work things were better. dori quit working so now the spot beside me is free. it would only make sense that london would take that spot, which is really exciting because i feel a renewed sense of belonging now. he minds me of working beside rich, all of those years of us laughing, learning and bantering back and forth. it was such a beautiful simple time i once had. the deep cleaning took place and made the air easier to breathe… i inherited a new black rolling station to keep my things, it even locks. the appointments started to flood in as soon as he "blessed" the area. i really hope that we can make some money here together… in our lofty positions. the compliment of our conversation will be lovely and as he said "everything is beginning to fall into place".
my first client is tough and always demands so much out of me. she seems looney and doesn't really make sense with what she says or even wants. she brought her boyfriend this time… i didn't expect her to be with someone like him, but you shouldn't assume that someone's standards would be high. they both gave me a weird energy and i was completely over the appointment and ready for them to just leave.
rumor has it i'll be getting some of dori's clients since they were too imdimidated to leave her while she was there… and my next client is just lovely. she is a typical california brunette with an intense tan and good build for a woman her age, but her hair color is making me crazy. i convinced her to get it colored and cut, a complete make.over which i can sense that she needs. she is getting ready to go to school for holistic massage therapy… which i think will bring happiness to her… much more than the nonsense job of working for the government. the day didn't drag on too much… and i was steady, but i was not there in heart. i had been texting gabriel and niya all day… both of them started their conversation with me at the exact same minute. that is weird how those things happen, as if they were more connected than they know. i was excited about the chance of seeing him in the evening but didn't really take any initiative to make solid plans. instead our conversation was open ended and not consistent. this is fine.. i walk to ali's and have a lovely dinner with her on the porch. we drink some wine and over eat… talking about the past few days. we walked with syd to rite aid so i could get just enough things so i didn't have to go grocery shopping. it was too expensive as usual and i spent all the money in my wallet on cotton, yogurt, contact solution and a bottle of wine.
i stayed to have a glass with ali as we watched the office.
i thought about our talk on the way home about how men are not living up to their roles anymore. if our fathers only knew how our boyfriends/husbands treated us… they would be furious. her husband is really selfish and it is starting to affect me now. i try not to get in the middle of it… but if i had been around her more when she was thinking about marrying him, i would've said something. even though you can't talk a girl off the ledge when we are already ready to jump. that is a fact. so nothing i can say or do with change it. let this be a lesson.
i walk home and smile, i have many reasons to smile. the walk down ocean blvd tonight is cool and breezy…. its lined with palms and flowers… quirky vintage buildings and tons of character. its time to finally wash my hair again… and i have a nice shower. it feels good to just get rid of all the filth. all the dirt from the weeks past… shave my legs and start over again.
i need to eat more, so i snack on cereal and watch new episodes of mad men with the boys. it is relaxing to just sit and watch the drama while waiting for my sheets to dry.
the feeling of laying in clean warm sheets for my nights sleep seems so romantic. i only have this one set… as i don't have much. if i had a boyfriend i would wash the sheets a lot so we could snuggle in the their warmth and fall asleep in each others arms.
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