ninety.

this day was a bit of nothingness and a lot of dreaming. day dreaming. i almost want to not write about this day… i did not want to get up this morning. 

i did not really want to go to work… so i wore my favorite sneaker heels and my blue volcom pants, saw a picute of oleysa on instagram… funny, she was wearing the same outfit. i played around a bit… rearranged the porch and cleaned the mirror. decided that today i would do #rooftopfashion for awhile. london and i decided that we were supposed to be fashion designers. i read off an inspirational quote about style. something not that many people have. i did a thourough job of coloring his hair and then spent the rest of the day coloring a clients extensions. the cloudy dreary day was quiet all day at the salon. i sat around with a little hung over summer and we talked about boys… i probably told her too many secrets.. but what fun is it to have them if you can't share, sometimes. i was able to get out of there on time.. and came home to discover something so amazing. daniel was doing homework and listening to npr music on the big screen in the living room. the sound is great… in the living room.  like we had our own private show of all the good indie bands. i was so intrigued and sucked in the i skipped yoga… telling myself that i would go early in the morning. i just wanted more music. i spent hours listening to the beautiful intimate setting of the tiny little office. i just couldn't stop… it reminded me of how unbelievably i am spoiled. I'm a spoiled little princess that will never understand… my power. 

a mocha americano is my new coffee drink… i got it from the library earlier in the day, just after discussing how women have "needs" and sex will pay for anything. it is the answer to getting your way. women have this power… and if used properly, it can solve all the... problems.

I'm addicted to something. I'm not sure what this poison is that is in my blood… but I'm everywhere and nowhere at once. i decided to write a song… after texting leanne for awhile about music and boys… i have to . i have so many emotions. there is no fountain of youth and if i don't do it RIGHT NOW. the moment will be gone. nothing last… it comes to past. (I'm listening to acoustic avett brothers now on npr, late in the afternoon of the following day, I'm dragging… this writing is dragging me down)

i spent hours writing, singing and learning how to play the piano on my iPad, then started to feel overwhelmed and crazy… passed out and had weird dreams that i haven't had time to recall yet.