eight.

my bike ride this morning was a bit chilly, but luckily the sun was pretty bright. my knee was tight and sore… but i pushed through it. its going to be a beautiful day and I'm stoked that i get to start my day with a massage. jeanette is a busy character, she just needs to relax a bit. she needs to just slow down and breathe, but she does give a very strong fluid massage. it made me reminense about the days with jess, the tuesday mornings i loved going to her beautiful house down the street. i felt like i was on a tropical island resort and i would just bike home and enjoy my day. that is the beauty of the beach where i came from, but those days ended. getting this help is necessary for my body, my work and my ninja life. i need the blood to flow through my veins and help heal me. 

I'm glad to leave and bike slowly home, i feel a bit whoosy and decide to skip yoga with AAron. we keep trying to go on wednesday but its not working out. I'm trying to push things too hard. it they don't fall into place, then i can't push much more. the ride is so beautiful, each time i notice a different house or garden. the variety here is amazing, the types of houses and cars, you just never know what you'll see. the boys at the skate park yelled hello at me, i waved. the bike i ride and my insane hair probably draw a bit of attention to me. oh well. eventually i'll stop long enough to get to know someone. 

tea this afternoon with AAron was really nice, i like our wednesday dates. its nice to just talk to someone who is … related but so different. we can talk about now and the ridiculous clients, plus he was where i was just a few months ago. he is making it work. he reminds me of someone i've known before, i think that is what really connects people. i talked about how i wanted to get in the music industry. but how? where do i fit? i know that i have the creative outlet. i know that i can make short films… photo shoots. i know i can design and promote. i have the passion for music and all that it does for human kind. the connective tissue that holds all of us together.

yoga with ali was nice, a hot crowded room. it feels comfortable, her indian accent playing with the similarities of anne. the flow is consistent and she is very perceptive to the order of things… the movements are very fluid. how do they choose their sequence? how do they know exactly what each person needs? I'm pretty sure that anne knew my every need, she met it with every class. before i could ever be ready to teach… i need to learn and expericene so much more. i will fit my teacher training in somewhere before thirty, hopefully in another country. 

so I'm taking very small steps from now on, forgiving myself occasionally for not reaching every single goal. but i need to not lose focus of what pushed me out here. i finished harry's dr. seuss letter today. I'm kinda nervous to send it… well that and i want to keep it for myself. its really cool looking piece of random doodle word art. who does this? it makes me feel like I'm a child again. writing notes and just being. being creative and not holding back with feelings or intuition. I'm going to give it to him because he must need it.. if i am creating it. i would hope that i wouldn't just create nonsense.. yet I've been known to…