there will never be enough time for home. its like the moments are escaping me and i can't seem to fit everything in. woke up early to meet kait at oasis for a massage, it was nice to be touched this morning. i needed the relaxation and time to myself. she was running late and i had to miss anne's yoga class. i am actually more upset about this than i wanted to feel… its like i just can't time everything perfect. instead of yoga, i go for a run. it helps settle my nerves, plus i need to get some of this weird weight off that is lingering around. i have appointments this afternoon and i enjoy seeing my clients. two of my favorites today, i must say that it is a beautiful luxury to be able to be with your favorite women all day. amanda has been such an influence to me. she pushes me forward and excites me about the future of growing up with a family, career and husband. her curls are wild and very much like her personality.. i am able to tame them only a bit. kitty is my next client and i have noticed that she has grown up quite a bit since i last saw her. she has been with me from the very beginning. so far back that ...we were only small kids when we met, she was my sister's friend, and she acted in many of my movies. we catch up on the small town events… then i meet kathleen at trio. it is nice to keep the motion moving, as soon as i slow down i fall asleep. she mets me there with a friend of hers, a new girl… hairstylist. she is so beautiful and i am attracted to her at once, funny that i found her card at a coffee shop and wondered who she was.. then i get to meet her. she is amazed at how many people love me in this town, she has heard only good things was told that she reminds people of me. the conversation was nice, i enjoyed the advice from women that have been here before. they know what it is like to leave what you love, disappear from your home town, your comfort.. and better yourself. i have to stop comparing the two places, they will never be the same. and i have to stop picturing myself here… it is not for me right now. i want to be able to have experience so i can teach others.. i need to continue learning more everyday. sometimes the hardest thing to do is just let go of all of it. let go of the fears, the thoughts and then move on. i'm going to imagine what i want from life. a clear picture of the things i want to achieve. somehow he manages to come up in my daily conversation. i guess that is only normal when you care about someone.
contentment in constant change
a movement that hurts
from the inside out.
i am still crossing out the
memories and erasing
what i used to be.
the reality of the past
is created through
our future. i press time
against the wall and
try and convince her that
she is more than what
meets the eye.
i have all the time in
world...
why must i live like there
is only ten minutes
waiting on the other side.
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