fifty.three.

i had to get up really early, or what seemed very early to go to a meeting. it seemed early yesterday… i got ready quickly, sleeping until the very last minute. my ride to work was windy and a bit chiller than i had expected, i was so tired. i keep staying up too late and drinking too much for the events that i have to perform in the morning.  a lot of the staff was late for the meeting… we covered what was expected of us and how the events of sunday would take place. also how we needed to have everything cleaned… i had a slow day. not that many clients.. the other girls had a few walk ins. one men's haircut, the rest of the time i was trying to find things to do to stay busy. i spent some time online, but i was just so bored and tired of being stuck in that business. i can see that full time is going to make me insane. i managed to get out of there early… i had made plans with jason earlier in the week to go to church. i didn't want to cancel with him. it was pleasant to just leave… all the salon negativity and chaos behind, biking back to the sea during the sunlight. 

i changed a few times, trying to stay comfortable but fancy, a maxi skirt will do just fine. i call him, let him know I'm ready, trying not to make him wait. this is already a fragile situation, he hardly knows me and he's picking me up to go to church. when he arrives, I'm surprised by his vehicle, and his politeness. our conversation flows nicely… he is probably surprised by my confidence… i don't know. we go to chronic tacos… its fast and  close by. we catch up for a few minutes while eating, "you like sports?" no…. 

the church isn't as i had expected, it reminded me of familiar placees… big stage, bright pretty colors, very new. they serve coffee… that you can't take inside though.

the crowd is older than i expected as well. singing a bit, I'm bored with the band.

its' all very bland and safe, but that is comforting in itself.

the sermon is odd and i am convinced he is preaching to me. the preacher decided to extend the series on revelations… the book that for tells the future. this books gets me, i read it when i was too young, i remember a sermon that mr. tom preached on the matter and i decided to take it a step further while i was reading left behind. all this was too real for me, to be that young and already begin worry about mankind. all of mankind just disappearing… that is left? all the beautiful, good people? no… hell is left once all of the saved are taken.

i listen to the sermon well, taking notes… its worth remembering and writing about. I'm not going to worry about this "event" anymore, there is no telling when that time will come.

our talk on the way home was refreshing, talking about the sermon and how both of us felt. we have similar views about society, how the breakdown of revelations is beginning… it has already begun. i try not to startle him too much with my craziness…but at least he understands the relevance.

i go home and i am immediately greeted by people waiting by the gate to see my roommates, i assume these are the guest for the cookout. i am sure that i have met a few of them before. its nice to come home to things happening, I'm very thankful that they allow me to join them in all their festivities. dinner is lovely, i don't eat enough and i somehow drink too much. walking around with a coffee mug.. water and whiskey. you an smell it, guess that means its too strong. the guys are really curious about me… one guy in particular who just got saved. he said i have such a calming energy… "its like a slap in the face". i believe is how he described it… a "gyspy or hippie" yea…. i am able to get to know them some more, other guys that i had just met only once, rex and miguel, i wanted to get to know them more. interesting couple. god seems to be the topic, thats how it usually is for me now.

i was thankful that we watched some of the critters videos, now the songs are stuck in my head again. he is beautiful, and gay guys love him. they said the songs were catchy and daniel even chimed in that i was the most organized in the group… i think that if we just stay on the same page for as long as possible… we can make things happen. 

he is just so "charming". the handsome devil. 

i spend some time getting high… on the porch. this is where i was able to get a bit "deep" with my thoughts. i wasn't able to record many of them before falling asleep. i just know that i like to convince people or sell things when I'm drunk… i tried selling yoga and religion last night. i think it makes all the difference. like tom said… "there has to be more to life than just waking up and going to work.."