It's always better the night before, but this is my first slip up. I can't let it become a habit. I was just so excited...
The bike ride was difficult, it has been breezy, thanks to the odd weather. It's slow in the morning, but I feel all the energy around. I love my ensemble, it is a leftover fashion buzz from the day before. And I absolutely love wearing new things. The sheer striped 'cloud' blouse with a black lace bra, and burnt orange volcom cords. Suede black dress loafers...that are already falling apart. I decided to listen and solve some problems, well it wasn't my choice but I have had it in my mind for awhile. She said, "you're like a female budda"... The girl version of London. I like helping people get there thoughts together. But it's not me... I can't take the credit. I read psalms for while and one of the poems speaks to me. I guess that is how it is supposed to be. The day is quick and my afternoon clients are good. I get a last minute men's haircut and it is going to be a challenge. This neckline and hair is almost identical to Alex's, lots and lots of hair.. Crazy on the neckline. It took forever and still didn't turn out like I had expected. Ali had asked me over to have dinner, so of course I was busy at work. We talked about a lot of things, mostly music towards the end. We have similar taste. I exaggerated the truth a bit... About the critters. I just keep thinking about these "passions". Which ones are real... And which ones are just distracting idols. My bike ride is quick, I keep smiling and thinking about the day. London said "they probably think you are an heiress. You have style and beautiful features, ...hair." It would make sense; why all the beauty, the power and the brilliance? I do come from a long line of Indian royalty, but I wasn't able to inherit anything... My horoscope said I would inherit a lot of money... later this year. I was very late for dinner, actually dinner was over. But I was just excited to see Ali and have some wine. Overindulging goes hand in hand with excitement for me. When I am anticipating a travel, that is when I am most happy, most inspired. So I blurred all that with alcohol. I'm not even sure why I did it... It's just hurting myself. But I think I did it to get out of my head.. Then I was so dizzy. I blacked out and threw up red wine all over the bathroom floor.. Never made it to the toilet. It looked like a murder scene... I just laid in it, I had no other way. Making it to the shower was a trip... And I was paralyzed in there for hours. It's the only way to calm me in really sick situations.. Hours of hot running water. I feel like I got my reality check. I hurt so bad that now I know why I don't drink. It's just not what I am supposed to do. My entire body aches and hurts... I lost out on good thoughts and relaxation time... But sometimes you have to purge your body. I'm glad I didn't have to digest all that pasta and wine anyway. I remember trying to write... All I managed to salvage ... "The next Chanel".
Ali said I seemed different, as we sat and dreamed together... About her exclusive bar and my limited clothing line... Designing and planning our lives. I just have to keep my muse, my focus in life.
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