fifty.four.

before i even came to terms what was happening… it had already happened.

i woke up so early, had to be at the salon by 8am and that was tough. i listened to ichymane and got myself in the right mind set to deal with a fashion show. the ride was quite and peaceful, something about sunday morning is so… romantic.

the chaos arrived around eight thirty, several girls to get ready. they were all very beautiful, we found unigue styles for all of them. they is what i came to california to do… and somehow things just weren't coming together with her hair. its like i wasn't inspired, i did talk about myself probably too much…but they seem to genuinly want to hear about the crazy road trip.

austin was sitting in london's chair… he styled his hair like a cherub, he really is an angel.

the show time snuck up on us and we headed over the the art thearte on 4th. it was a cool venue, i would love to see a show, maybe even a picture show… i prefer music.

i couldn't help but to notice when he walked by me. i could feel his eyes, i wanted to sit and talk to him. the show was really unorganized but overall it was a fun event. it gave us time as a salon to bond and come together… the after party was exciting, i was so glad that we did that. it was a safe place to just party and hang out… london gave me ecstasy. i haven't done it in almost a year, seems the spring is always a good time to "clear" the mental space. i can feel feelings again, sometimes it takes just a little natural high to push you down a mountainside.

i immediately was drawn to his presence. i walked over to get a drink with him.. maybe some food, talk about his hair. somehow… so quickly, we were sitting side by side and everyone began to notice and comment on how engaged we were with each other… 48% of us needed to keep our sunglasses on. i loved looking into his eyes and feeling the ease that was his… body. you could say that it was love at first sight, except it has nothing to do with love yet. 

i like where he comes from, his past seems calm but emotional, he seems spiritual… enough about that. i need to escape to the present. i need to learn to not over analyze, as fun as it my be.

consume your time with… art. i couldn't seem to be able to grasp the beauty in all of this "trip".

i was so thankful that ali came to hang out with me, she is such a love of mine. perfect timing, ian went out of town and now we can be best friends again,,, sleepover! she was laughing at my state of body and mind, my pupils told the story. i wanted the night to last a lot longer, but he had to head off to practice with the band. ali and i had a light dinnder at a cafe close by. it was the most visually appealing place, like an indoor outdoor cafe. the food was amazing but i wasn't able to eat. i just kept drinking water, maybe too much… too much of a good thing. we rode home together and that was so lovely, it gets old only relying on yourself. i need to help of others right now. i prayed for someone like him.. 

I'm just not ready to let go yet.

i want to paint about it, but I'm so tired. what a shame to waste this collidacolors source of creativity. but my brain is exhausted and i am anxious for the future.i love this life.