you have to start somewhere. might as well be on the last day of the first month. laying in an apartment that i think I'm dreaming.  the old hotel has too much energy wandering around to let me out of the house today. really i'd be content just laying here all day, with my thoughts keeping me company. the day is crazy and what others have said in the past keeps wrapping themselves in my stream of remembrance. i need to get outside and see the actions. the sun is shinning in the always sunny California. the days are always happy here.  the start of a new movement that i see. the change of the world is underway. after just a mere 500 days… we will be in a whole new world. here is how is happened. 

yesterday i noticed that things felt a little different. i felt happy and safe and sound. I'm starting to create a ritual now. the routine makes me feel better, makes me feel "accomplished". funny because i thought about erik and he sent me a message just a few hours later. its all relatable because he is a part of this too. along with ashton who made his appearance yesterday as well. all of these boys played such a major role getting me to the exact spot that i am in. they were the driving force behind my actions. boys make me crazy, they also give me unbelievable energy. falling in love is really what does it. i get so high on the chemicals of love that it motivates me to do crazy things. like move all the way across the county. in a vehicle filled with four girls, a dog and all of our possessions. i did that for pure love.  if we hadn't of truly loved each other, we would have never made it thirty five hundred miles…