thirty.nine.

woke up early to practice yoga with ali. the change in time has made the morning more active, during the early winter months.. seven am was a quiet lonely world where the sun was barely rising and all the lights are green. the class was quick and only hurt for a second, ali felt like she didn't get any work done.. i felt calm and stretched. we had planned to attend a more difficult hot class, but i guess my mind controlled this because i needed the cool gentle class much more this morning. my bike ride to work was cold and against the wind, making everything that much more difficult. at least the sun was out … my fleece leggings allowing for some of the warmth to power me forward. first thing, it felt like it was going to be a busy day. i spend a few hours upstairs on the porch, catching up with michelle and texting shelina. i was able to escape for a while up here… i like to be alone and in the quiet, especially early. i had two request based on my biography from the website. these women were not my typical clients… they were women that seemed to not care for themselves.. i guess i judged them too quickly. i just don't have the tolerance for those that give up.. one of the women was a website designer for the loft… she loved my story and the picture. it was one from the asheville shoot… probably one of the more creative shoots of my career. "its like a picture from world war three"… a futuristic shot from the end of the world. come to think of it, thats exactly the theme of the shoot.. and we didn't even know it. brilliant and frightening at the same time. it made me keep thinking about this subject, the one subject that scares me into going back home to the east coast, away from all the crazy and nonsense. the rest of the day was somewhat boring. i helped dori take out her extensions and color her hair.. i did not like the outcome. it was a beautiful color, just too boring. the overall feel of the salon is a mess… the new owner means well, but he is kind of a mess, especially when he drinks.. the new assistant manager is a drama queen…. we'll see if she actually changes anything, i was so bummed about her color not being her vision during my ride home… i hate it when that happens. i was tired and oh so thankful that ian was bringing food home. today i have been fed when i am hungry.. all my needs are met. i was glad to catch up with those two today… ian and daniel. daniel has been sick and not his usual self.. i guess he is feeling better today because the witty sarcasm is back. we ate dinner together and watched dowton abbey… i feel asleep. but before i checked out, i was highly inspired by the wardrobe. the hats and there was an outfit that i saw… an orange fitting suit that was almost identical to the one i drew the other night, weird. all the clothes are more conservative and so classy. i hope to start a trend with hats and victorian fashion, that portrays a different attitude in women. i need a career that allows me to travel more… so i can go back to the east when i need to. i reached out today to fuller… i needed a few moments of reassurance. she said to keep writing him, I'm a little ashamed i even brought it up to her, but she is there, she knows better than me… but i'll shyly keep writing and sending. i don't know what else to do but trust my feelings.