today i started off by not being able to get out of bed. i knew that is was my last morning, i turned down a beautiful opportunity to spend time with ara at yoga. i missed the chance to see jess & katie in there new beautiful environment. that is the trouble with sleep, especially in this bed. i never want to get out and it remains a burden to me. but at the same time it is the bed that i love to wake up in, it has a sense of comfort that holds you in so safe. i meet her for coffee quickly at front porch, she was really late and it gave me a minute to sit and reflect, and regret even more to the soundtrack of jazz. my coffee disappoints and i am immediately late for my first client. mary beth was early and ready to see me… she wants something new. something that makes her feel lighter. it is amazing what a haircut can do for your life. women like to feel "different". the change was good and i was thankful to be the one who got to help her with this change. the look turned out, similar to photos.. but haircuts have a life of their own. the outcome can only be imagined… she loves it. then i get to fix another good client of mine's hair. it has gotten a bit brassy from the lack of consistenty. she gives me a wonderful compliment. everyone can use the same ingredients, but it never turns out the same. hairstyling is a lot like cooking, its very dependent on the provider. it is hard to leave the salon on the sea, the women here have imbraced me and allowed me to work in such a blessing of an environment. it is what i strive to achieve in a work space. i feel like i belong.
the work day ends early and i head over to starfish to see shell and tupper. they are in their usual positions, the day has turned rainy and cold. this is what the outer banks does, traps you indoors. there energy gives me anxiety and i can't sit still. i keep imagining all the photoshoots, the scenes, the magic that we all could create. i still have to have patience. all of this will come with time. the universe is giving me my time first. that time to establish myself before i can help anyone else. she ends up doing a quick shoot with me. i am never really prepared… my nails were chipped and gross, but hopefully that doesn't show. i wore my hat and fur… scissors in hand. we'll see where she takes it. she has been such an inspiration in my life, i hug her and have to leave. i have a few free minutes and decide to stop into moms sweet shop. hoping that jess would be there… only to find derek who is amazing and gives me a real hug. i've noticed that not everyone is able to give that "real" hug… he is comforting and calm, i love what they have done to the shop. i miss this place.. and all the local art. the gathering of friends. this is another example of patience, time and hard work. they are inspiring humans from this island. i run into allen while I'm there, dancing around with my round glasses and fur. this is what moms is for, to constantly run into your friends. derek jokes with me and congratulates me… "you should come home only for hound dog shows.. it will be a mystery.. like the illusion that you are here". sounds like the perfect idea, i think i'll wear my fur.
the time ends here and I'm off to see chris and ryan. the weather is getting worse… more wind. i give chris a kitchen haircut at ryans, we get to catch up a bit… he notices my uneasy energy. during the cut a lot happens. i help katie fuller color her hair with box die through a picture, and chris hunter asks me to hang out. i wish that the text had come a day sooner.. I'm leaving for home in a few hours. by the time the haircut was over… my flight had been cancelled due to winter weather… and i was meeting him later. so strange. i rebooked a flight for later in the day and then went to dinner at the thai room with ryan and chris. it was great to support the local spot. i have eaten twice there since i've been home.
i always enjoy seeing them, friends for years. funny to think how young we were when we began this friendship..sitting together for lunch in high school. i have loved them both for years. then off to see lindsey for her haircut. she is the last one before i leave. i add more layers to what tammy did a few weeks ago. her hair is just so thick and heavy, a few adjustments will make her much happier. she was the starting point of practice with hair. as inflexible as she is… she always let me experiment with her hair. the sister time is nice…
then i am quickly reminded of why i can't date or live on the outer banks in the winter. i call ara and laugh about the story.. excited that i may get to see her in the morning. i call chris and explain myself. tell him i feel like chatting and drinking tea. its not that best to show up at someones house during the first meetings.. sometimes you get the wrong impression. but only on this island in the winter.. is it appropriate. i get directions and venture into the elements. i know i was supposed to be at the house… to meet another aspiring hairstylist and to come to terms that i am doing what i have always talked about. i needed to get another perspective.. and know that everyday can be ground hog day here on this beach.. that is why we travel so far. to get the extreme opposite result of our life on the island. he is leaving for bali in ten days… you can tell he is just ready to leave. the conversation is good, he reminds me so much of ashton.. from the way he looks, talks and acts. his demeanor… only small details are different. i stay for two hours and chat. i kept noticing his eyes wander…. to my guitar pick necklace, which convently sits in-between my breast. i contemplate trying to kiss him… but its not there. this also taught me that i do not like things the same.. (i knew this) and that i am not even ready for any kind of intimacy. i am so far from being ready… i know that in my heart i am in love with someone else. but that is ok. he opens the door for me to leave.. the oceanfront cottage is be pelted with cold rain… this is why i am going back to LA. i am able to pack efficiently now, it is the last moment and i seem to get things done well under this time pressure. i paint my nails… one day too late. it doesn't matter now… and i get another wonderful nights sleep in my california king. who knew you can actually add time.
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