time.
today the lessons are present and it teaches me. the boring is okay, i actually accomplished a lot. this is going to be fun if i can just keep up with everything.
its the present moment.
i woke up and had to be quick, having a ten am appointment made me move faster.
the ride was cool and cloudy, fog taking over for most of the morning. strange conditions. i listen to other music, something different.
then i learn that things don't always happen as planned. i was so happy to see london this morning. you could say i am in love with him. he is a comfort of sorts.
you can seal your own fate. unless you what it to leak… critters
the beatles.
the circus show of what we will create. if we want to make this happen. i saw a picture of what could be tonight. i needed to see that.
i had many clients today, it was good for a saturday. i needed to spend money… makes me feel good. even though i have, nothing.
gee golly… you went rock & roll and forgot me.
its the worst and least of my problems.
i was glad to style wedding hair, she was from michigan. she felt like a real person, well… everyone is here. those that miss youth i think are hard to relate to right now. but i am well on my way.
i hope I'm busy enough to not worry with how i look.
that is the goal. to be so… powerful. who worries with looks, its something that i will prepare for.
the rambling continues.
i hear and see all the things that i am so vibrantly aware of now. since i am not really a part of society at times. i want to be let back in… some.
i was able to relate with people ok.. kinda.
i think i learned that i should sell stella & dot jewelry… but i should just take it slow. i am in no rush.
i need a new fix
please god, thank you. fix me
i was so happy at work, but i did accomplish a lot, while staying quietly present. i escaped for an hour to see niya at bella mia. i like her, she reminds me of melissa, nate's wife.
its a weird world that i am in.
such a waste?
but my first client was off, i couldn't relate and his energy wasn't good. i wasn't sure how to feel about him… my second men's haircut was nice. i just want to be out and learning. i liked killing time with her. its just fun. and i think i have a chance here.
style.
then to music.
after having a gay guy say "i do" because he was happy with how he looked after a haircut.
I'm in the right place. its a lovely day.
exactly what i need, he'll be a good client.
i bought a new crazy color blouse, something special, i'll wear it a lot.
i had so many wardrobe ideas, but she was too overwhelmed.
trains.
its a lot to take in. think about it.
found bands that i wanted to see, i absolutely needed live music tonight. i so needed to feel something. the first band was boring, a good consistent sound. "but what were they so excited about?" well i like it… for a few songs.
the venue is exactly what i dreamed it to be. its where they will be playing.
its the perfect back drop. i am so excited for this…
we were 83 & 84. the last to be let in, just in time "that was weird".
we were supposed to be here, i have no time to waste. i have to use every moment to my advantage. tonight was like a trial, and it also showed me a packed place.
the second band made me feel. they made me think.
it was something that i needed.
something that i will look forward to with ali.
i can see this being a regular place, we need more. i'll give you more.
the third band was good, but veery chaotic, like a crazy punk band. nice to jump around to … we took pictures. why not.
now we have to get two photos each time that we go.
and we should just keep opposite ones… then we can catch up
we look pretty in those photos. photo booth type.
buying a cd from sean & zandar. its good music. i'll share it will the guys… and then i will be…. balanced. what am i doing? this is a good idea to leave before it gets crazy. robbie picks us up… he is such a happy man. a white haired guy who's been in long beach for 23 years, he said its like an addiction. once you get a taste. there is a lot to like, i can agree. he said our friendship was real. it was such a good night…. i didn't want it to end. but i'll have it again. biking home i thought about my day, seeing the swaying palms. I'm really in california? just hanging out… this is
i am so thankful.
found this on my sister leanne's blog
I don't want your self-less thoughts. They mean nothing to me unspoken. Don't you understand that I can't feel those thoughts. Because they are merely thoughts. I can't sense them. I cannot hear them in your voice. I can't read them in your writing. Why do you keep these thoughts contained by your skull? Why even think them if you just hide behind a blank expression? I want to hold these thoughts, memorizing them, fantasizing about their futures. I want to break the skull and let the thoughts run as free as the pulsing blood from your harshly contained brain. You are waiting for me to have the capability to read your mind. But I don't even know to try. What isn't said, just isn't. It isn't being, it isn't happening. It is just an invisible cloud of thought, so untouchable. No matter what the thought contains, it means nothing to me, it doesn't even exist to me. Try and exist. Do this for me, do not be so self-less. You're happiness matters. It matters to me. What if I want the same as you? Why hold back, when we could have it all. For once, please break the skull.
No comments:
Post a Comment