thirty.three.

Josh woke up early to get us coffee from duck's. I stayed over again at becks, waking up in the familiar southern shores beach house. We have a slow moving morning, not even leaving the house until after noon. I am frustrated with my timing, I can't seem to synchronize my moment's, I most defiantly didn't utilize my time well enough. I was able to spend some time with mother, I feel very out of touch though, like I have not much in common with my parents, yet I understand them so well. Then to duck for coffee and to visit with Kat at luxury. She seems to be well, she just completed her own perfume. The small boutique is adorable and I feel so comfortable being there except the small town drama hasn't changed... The frustrating cattiness of women still amuses me. I then head to Walmart for a piece of a speaker for alex.. The scavenger hunt. I am amused with the sunset as usual, taking a detour to see the pastel colors. Then to spend time with alex.. It's like high school again, where you just hang in your room and listen to music.  Catching up on music and listing songs that remind us of each other. I have a small panic attack and begin to cry. I have never done this before with him, but it was much needed. i needed to release the built up anxiety and i felt better... After the saline dried out my skin. He sat close beside me and rubbed my back, it is natural with him. We are all human and deserve to be comforted ever so rarely. He talks me through my future and I see a similar path. Then to the murderhole to see Tupper. We decide on take out, stopping first at the corner for gas station wine. Ellen stopped in, funny how timing works out. She is having a tough time and I don'tknow what to do ... We get Bernie's to go, back through the woods. The food is surprisingly good... We watch Argo, then silver linings play book. The music is good for both. I cuddle on the couch and doze off for the second film. I have to get home and rest now. I guess I'm done with avoiding my small missions here. I am very content with living in the present and could afford to give my feelings a rest.